DeStressing.....
Kaoz....started ground school recently....(something like theory lessons before you actually fly..)
the pace at which new topics and subjects are introduced is like damn crazy....my brain is like maxed out daily with new things that i have absolutely no understanding of but yet have to memorise! In the next 10days, gonna have 4 tests: air craft systems, airmanship(vaguely similar to air law), avionics and navigation! this time i sure die one!
i used to think of myself as something of a smart alec and that my laziness and irresponsibilty were the factors hampering me from doing well.. but with these new topics, i'm seriously starting to doubt my capacity.....
Was looking thru the stuff my seniors passed to us for us to study......1.31GB!!!!! OMG and there is like no big big program or video taking up most of the space!!! SIANZ.....actually wanted to start memorizing my checks...but after looking at the 35 pages of font 12 characters.....i was seriously intimidated.....
Have been doing some reflections in the past few weeks : " Do i really want to be a pilot? Do i think i can make it as a pilot? "
For the 1st part, i have thought and re-thought about it countless of times. the financial part of it is really attractive, and the fact you get to fly some high-performance jets is like a dream come true in a certain sense. and of course there is the prestige involved in being able to make it as a military pilot! But military life is definitely not my cup of tea, i detest waking up early, having to acknowledge someone juz because of his seniority in rank and not his abilities or person, and all the stupid restrictions the military places on you. Not to mention the fact that i would have to enter university at such a older age(almost 26!!). lol, i know that i have been given a chance that many people want and cant get. and to not give my best is like a slap in the face to them and the organisation. but, at the age of 20, u cant blame a guy for having second thoughs of a career that would last him a lifetime. i need to know right now if i want to be a pilot, if not i would be better of somewhere else..............
as for the 2nd part of my reflections, Honestly, i dun think i have wad it takes to be a pilot, multi-tasking is definitely not my forte...i seriously doubt i can fly/make radio calls/do checks/analyse the surroundings/do navigation(which includes some maths...)/respond to instructor f#$%ing all at the same time!! for the matter of fact, i dun even think i can fly properly in the 1st place!! i am lazy, irresponsible, cant memorize things for nuts. i get distracted to easily and tend to over-focus on certain things and neglect the others when i get anxious....all these are definitely not traits desirable in a normal person. much less a pilot trainee... The only thing i have going for me is my eyesight, and even that is starting to detioriate....The stress of just studying is already getting to me, cant imagine how am i going to cope when i start flying and studying..(no wonder they say that many fail not because they are not good pilots, but they cant take the stress or miss home..) 50%...this is the magical number. The projected amount of people that would pass my phase of the training....i dun see myself anywhere near the upper half of the course.(then again, i have never seen anyone else fly cept for myself and my instructors...)
Haiz...enough of the serious stuff and enough of the self-bashing i am giving myself...now to focus on the positive things!! i got my performance bonus today!! $500++!! hee!!! that is something to smile about ya??
the pace at which new topics and subjects are introduced is like damn crazy....my brain is like maxed out daily with new things that i have absolutely no understanding of but yet have to memorise! In the next 10days, gonna have 4 tests: air craft systems, airmanship(vaguely similar to air law), avionics and navigation! this time i sure die one!
i used to think of myself as something of a smart alec and that my laziness and irresponsibilty were the factors hampering me from doing well.. but with these new topics, i'm seriously starting to doubt my capacity.....
Was looking thru the stuff my seniors passed to us for us to study......1.31GB!!!!! OMG and there is like no big big program or video taking up most of the space!!! SIANZ.....actually wanted to start memorizing my checks...but after looking at the 35 pages of font 12 characters.....i was seriously intimidated.....
Have been doing some reflections in the past few weeks : " Do i really want to be a pilot? Do i think i can make it as a pilot? "
For the 1st part, i have thought and re-thought about it countless of times. the financial part of it is really attractive, and the fact you get to fly some high-performance jets is like a dream come true in a certain sense. and of course there is the prestige involved in being able to make it as a military pilot! But military life is definitely not my cup of tea, i detest waking up early, having to acknowledge someone juz because of his seniority in rank and not his abilities or person, and all the stupid restrictions the military places on you. Not to mention the fact that i would have to enter university at such a older age(almost 26!!). lol, i know that i have been given a chance that many people want and cant get. and to not give my best is like a slap in the face to them and the organisation. but, at the age of 20, u cant blame a guy for having second thoughs of a career that would last him a lifetime. i need to know right now if i want to be a pilot, if not i would be better of somewhere else..............
as for the 2nd part of my reflections, Honestly, i dun think i have wad it takes to be a pilot, multi-tasking is definitely not my forte...i seriously doubt i can fly/make radio calls/do checks/analyse the surroundings/do navigation(which includes some maths...)/respond to instructor f#$%ing all at the same time!! for the matter of fact, i dun even think i can fly properly in the 1st place!! i am lazy, irresponsible, cant memorize things for nuts. i get distracted to easily and tend to over-focus on certain things and neglect the others when i get anxious....all these are definitely not traits desirable in a normal person. much less a pilot trainee... The only thing i have going for me is my eyesight, and even that is starting to detioriate....The stress of just studying is already getting to me, cant imagine how am i going to cope when i start flying and studying..(no wonder they say that many fail not because they are not good pilots, but they cant take the stress or miss home..) 50%...this is the magical number. The projected amount of people that would pass my phase of the training....i dun see myself anywhere near the upper half of the course.(then again, i have never seen anyone else fly cept for myself and my instructors...)
Haiz...enough of the serious stuff and enough of the self-bashing i am giving myself...now to focus on the positive things!! i got my performance bonus today!! $500++!! hee!!! that is something to smile about ya??
posted by yikai at 7:58 AM
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